Ug. So this has been the most aggravating past couple of weeks.... I have been having contractions and some very painful, yet when I decide to finally start timing them they will dissipate. Last week I was checked by my doctor and was said to be at 2-3, well I started getting contractions constantly and went in only to be sent home because they weren't strong enough. Then I went in because my mom got the best of me making me think my water may be leaking.....I won't go into the details that lead to that assumption. Anyways I ended going and having to stay because there were dips in the babies heart beat. Well now going on a week later baby is fine and growing at a rapid rate, and I'm left almost fully effaced and barely dilated. It was so different with my last two pregnancies. With Hailey I went in with contractions and they felt about the same as what I'm feeling now, but I progressed and was able to have her the following day. You'd think this being my third child things were go a little more quickly, well maybe that is the case with the delivery part, but as for just finding the right moment to go to the hospital. Inconsistency. I keep stressing that I'm going to go into labor and when I finally do it is going to progress a lot quicker and Jon will be at work and not able to get to me very quickly. In the end I know I'm just worrying. The baby will come when he is ready and in fact Kirt was born around this gestational age. I'm almost 38 weeks. I guess I'm just anxious. Hailey came at 37 weeks and I was hoping to do the same with this baby, whom by the way is still nameless. Jon finally decided to take part in helping me name him and now it's just down to the order of the middle and first name, because it would sound good either way. I've changed the name so many times that I'm not going to tell anyone until he comes out and Jon and I both say, happy birthday _______! At church Jon brought up the topic of why he doesn't want anymore children. I don't like when he does this, I get my back all up. He just feels that he won't be able to spend adequate time with each child if we have a ton.... lol I'm like Jon I don't want a ton of kids either, but apparently he thinks four is equatable to a ton. So I think he has a valid point, but I know that if we were to have four it would work out just fine. What am I saying I need to get through this next year with three! Once things get into routine it will go a bit smoother and then it will be good days and bad days just like it was adjusting to having the two.
To get on a different topic (still kids though) Last week my mom came into town in hopes that the baby may come. That didn't happen of course, so we went and spent time over at my aunts house. Now my aunt has a big house and 4 children of her own. So it gets loud and chaotic there. Not to mention usually half of my moms family meets up to visit too. Well my aunts oldest daughter enjoys playing with Hailey, and taking care of her. Which is great so I can at least take it a bit easy. Well she had been holding Hailey and caring her around for quite some time, and of course Hailey didn't mind the attention. Well its starting to get late and my mom and I are about ready to go. So I start rounding everything up when I notice I can't find Hailey anywhere. (I was calm at this point thinking she was still with my cousin) So I look all around and even go outside and look because thats where everyone said they saw her last. So after about ten mins panic is starting to quick in because I heard her mention earlier that she wanted to go with the kids to the park. I told her to tell me first of course, so when she didn't I was like where could they be? So I head outside and start walking heading for I don't know where.... the park or maybe them just strolling. My mom comes running out after me and starts walking with me, I was more like jogging. My mom says to me, why didn't we take the car. She's started to get out of breath, but I was get more frantic by the min. She then called my sister Harmonie to bring to car to us. After hoping in the car we drive by the park and see no one. I just snapped. I started having a break down and crying like no other. My mom was trying to keep her self calm and it's a good thing she did because that would have made me worse, but I started screaming call 911 repeatedly. I thought they were abducted or something of that nature. We drove back the house and right as we do her comes my cousin with Hailey. I run and grabbed her sobbing now. I wasn't mad just very worried about both of them. Well it turns out they had gone next door. Before I went off looking for them I had a feeling they were there, I know that Holy Ghost was trying to prompt me. Now looking back I wish I would have listened and saved myself the heart ache. (Pregnant women are so emotional) Well after I calmed down I was able to be rational again and she of course felt terrible that she freaked me out, but I told her it didn't help that I was totally hormone fueled. Lets just say in that moment you feel you have lost your child it is the worst and most terrifying feeling I have ever felt in my life. I'm so glad they both were ok and will take this experience to help me in life
To get on a different topic (still kids though) Last week my mom came into town in hopes that the baby may come. That didn't happen of course, so we went and spent time over at my aunts house. Now my aunt has a big house and 4 children of her own. So it gets loud and chaotic there. Not to mention usually half of my moms family meets up to visit too. Well my aunts oldest daughter enjoys playing with Hailey, and taking care of her. Which is great so I can at least take it a bit easy. Well she had been holding Hailey and caring her around for quite some time, and of course Hailey didn't mind the attention. Well its starting to get late and my mom and I are about ready to go. So I start rounding everything up when I notice I can't find Hailey anywhere. (I was calm at this point thinking she was still with my cousin) So I look all around and even go outside and look because thats where everyone said they saw her last. So after about ten mins panic is starting to quick in because I heard her mention earlier that she wanted to go with the kids to the park. I told her to tell me first of course, so when she didn't I was like where could they be? So I head outside and start walking heading for I don't know where.... the park or maybe them just strolling. My mom comes running out after me and starts walking with me, I was more like jogging. My mom says to me, why didn't we take the car. She's started to get out of breath, but I was get more frantic by the min. She then called my sister Harmonie to bring to car to us. After hoping in the car we drive by the park and see no one. I just snapped. I started having a break down and crying like no other. My mom was trying to keep her self calm and it's a good thing she did because that would have made me worse, but I started screaming call 911 repeatedly. I thought they were abducted or something of that nature. We drove back the house and right as we do her comes my cousin with Hailey. I run and grabbed her sobbing now. I wasn't mad just very worried about both of them. Well it turns out they had gone next door. Before I went off looking for them I had a feeling they were there, I know that Holy Ghost was trying to prompt me. Now looking back I wish I would have listened and saved myself the heart ache. (Pregnant women are so emotional) Well after I calmed down I was able to be rational again and she of course felt terrible that she freaked me out, but I told her it didn't help that I was totally hormone fueled. Lets just say in that moment you feel you have lost your child it is the worst and most terrifying feeling I have ever felt in my life. I'm so glad they both were ok and will take this experience to help me in life
1 comments:
aww, thats horrible. They really should have told you where they were going (at least the older cousin). In this day and age, you really can't trust that your child is safe outside, especially when you don't know where they are. I'm glad hailey is doing ok. hang in there shar, i'll keep my fingers crossed that this baby comes soon. lol, i'm so bad but i almost hope you have another "whoops moment" someday and that one last little one comes along...i think 4 is just fine...you make such a good mom! Hopefully jon can get promoted to a job that pays more and that he can spend more time at home. Please text me when the baby comes!
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